I try to stay positive. Even if I am feeling down, I try not to let it show in my posts.
But I have to be quite honest…I fall like I am drowning.
From the time I wake up, until the time I go to bed; I feel like I am going to cry. I have a knot in my throat constantly.
My mind has officially betrayed me. I will be sitting and all of a sudden I imagine what it will be like when Jimmy dies. I start to think about what I would say in his eulogy. I think about what kind of song he wants played at his funeral. It makes me numb. I can’t imagine life without him.
I never worried about Jimmy’s cancer before. We heard that it is common and very treatable. And considering that Kayla’s appointments where the same time as his, he would go to his and I would go with Kayla.
I am devastated. His tumor has grown and they don’t know why. He is scheduled to get a PET scan sometime in the next 2 – 3 weeks. So until then, it is like wandering in the dark.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
hugs. I am so sorry. It is never something we want to think about. Especially not bout someone so close to us. hugs
I don’t know what to say other than my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Sandra, I’m so so sorry to hear this. Please know we’re all pulling for you, Jimmy and Kayla.
OMGosh! My heart goes out to you all! I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through and what you’re going through now! I pray his tumour shrinks and he and Kayla will both be fine SOON!!
hugs & prayers to you all!!!
Hugs…I won’t pretend to say anything you don’t already know about how I wish I could do something for you. xoxo
Sandra, You are one Strong Lady, and God will continue to see you thru this..My motto is “This Too Shall Pass”, I keep this on my fridge to remind of that whatever if happening, it will pass!